All of us are unique and different. We have talents to inculcate and we excel in those. But some just REALLY DO EXCEL and some DON'T. Of course, we all want to lead an extraordinary life and be noticed or mattered. How we couldn't envy those people who mattered? Who excels in life, right? This situation can lead us just in two ways: motivates us or makes us feel nothing.
So insecurities started to exist. I think it's also inevitable because we do have things that others don't have and they have also things that we don't have.
This insecurities (for me) has two ways: 1. We are insecure because we just don't have that thing ourselves. We're just envy, wishing we could be that someone or we could have that something. 2. We are insecure because we hate that person. And if you'll ask me where I belong, I'd go probably for number one.
My life's composed of PROVING SOMEONE'S WORTH. Seeking attention from people just to be appreciated by them. Maybe this is also the result of being surrounded by people who always have achievements in life and then, what about me? What I have achieved in life? I have few. But I think it's still not enough because I also feel that there are always flaunting of achievements and what are the things that I could flaunt? What are those things that I could brag about? And in the first place, I'm not that person who always brag about myself and what I have. In just that point, I'm already lost.
I know this is another contradict in my faith---being not good enough but I really want to write and express this and maybe also, I can help others who's in the same page as me by writing this.
I'm already okay with my depression but my insecurities and low self-esteem pulls me down again especially now that I'm in school already. Expectations of other people from me, which I can really say is hell high. I did everything or maybe gave all that I can to meet to those expectations but then BOOM! I failed, committed a mistake, I disappointed them and then nothing, I'm already nothing. I can also say that whenever I achieve something, I just get nothing but when I just commit mistake even it's just small, they get it as a big deal to them. Seriously? I'm just a person who commits mistakes but then, they judge me wholesomely as a bad person. It's. Just. So. Unfair.
I'm already okay with my depression but my insecurities and low self-esteem pulls me down again especially now that I'm in school already. Expectations of other people from me, which I can really say is hell high. I did everything or maybe gave all that I can to meet to those expectations but then BOOM! I failed, committed a mistake, I disappointed them and then nothing, I'm already nothing. I can also say that whenever I achieve something, I just get nothing but when I just commit mistake even it's just small, they get it as a big deal to them. Seriously? I'm just a person who commits mistakes but then, they judge me wholesomely as a bad person. It's. Just. So. Unfair.
And also the problem is, there are people who seriously flaunt those achievements of them. I'm saying they can't but some people are just exaggerating it that makes other people think low of themselves. This often happen to me and it's really horrible and miserable. As they say, "Keep your feet on the ground," which I can ask myself, is this really happening?
Comparing is what also triggers this. Comparing one to another is really wrong. As I said earlier, EVERYONE is UNIQUE and has DIFFERENT TALENTS so why COMPARE? This may motivate you to strive hard but if ever you'll fail, it would hurt so much.
Appraisal - Coping Mechanism
If you are feeling this insecurity that I'm talking about, I advise you to LOVE AND LIVE FOR YOURSELF. Stop minding other people because sometimes, people won't just care about us. Some are selfish so it's better that sometimes, we should think about ourselves first before others.
It's not that bad though because it's ourselves. It's who you are and you are important. And most especially, THEY CAN'T CHANGE YOU and IT'S YOU WHO WILL MAKE DECISIONS ABOUT YOUR LIFE AND NOT THEM. Let's not be predicted about others, let's live for our lives and for ourselves. We have our FREEDOM for a long time and don't just waste it being IMPRISONED by what they think.
WE CAN'T PLEASE EVERYBODY so if some don't like us, don't mind them. I know it's hard because we don't want other people hate us or don't like us but that's the only way we can do. Just continue to do a great job and people will realize after that you're worth it.
TO GOD BE ALL THE GLORY. I'm not provoking to other faiths but just for me, I'm giving all the glory and credits to my Lord. If you'll read this and you have other god also, offer it to Him or if you have really none, just saved it for yourself. The satisfaction will wash through us eventually and relief will follow. Everything will be better and okay in the end.
Self-indulged
For me, I do also experience this kind of shts. So what always do to cope with this things?
Whenever I feel this already, I isolate myself or run through the people who knew me too well. I avoid those people who made me feel so sht and nothing. I thought of myself that I don't need those people, what I need is people who will make me happy and pull me higher.
I don't push myself to fit in to those people anymore because I believe they will realize that I'm important and they'll regret losing me as a person.
Now, I just lean unto my God who assures me always. His Words and Promise keeps me going and I just hope that people will be nice already and let peace and love reign in the world.